


Circles

by AkaDono



Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF Uzumaki Naruto, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hokage Uzumaki Naruto, M/M, Powerful Uzumaki Naruto, Seme Hatake Kakashi, Smart Uzumaki Naruto, Time Travel, Uke Uzumaki Naruto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-04 08:41:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5327789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkaDono/pseuds/AkaDono
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto Uzumaki had loved his sensei, and Kakashi Hatake had loved his student. And yet, neither will know that they loved each other all this time as they stifle their emotions and refuse to show it. Kakashi had stepped down from Hokage and Naruto now achieved his dream, and seems to live in happiness with his wife and kids... Yet their emotions towards one another still linger. Until one day. A friendly visit to Suna gone wrong, Naruto is forced back to the past, where he is a recently graduated Genin. Now he is back to the past, would he be able to ascertain the copy-cat's feelings towards him? Would their lives be able to finally converge? Time travel fic, Kakanaru, albeit non-canonical Naruto, changing-the-future fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Parallel Lines

**Author's Note:**

> Hello the people of ao3 et al! Evidently I am quite new to this community, so I'll be struggling to understand how it all works, etc. Still, I will try my best to be punctual and make this story a good one for everyone to enjoy! The quotes in this chapter is credited to Coldplay. This one is called 'Parallel Lines' because they never meet...I hope you enjoy the first chapter!

 

_Come up to meet you,_

_tell you I'm sorry_

_You don't know how lovely you are_

 

 

‘Hmmm…how do I put this? My first impression of you is...I hate you'

As the silver-haired man lazily droned out these words, Naruto had chuckled to himself. Kakashi had looked at the blonde hair radiating like the glow of the sun quizzically and smiled to himself. _Sensei… Your son is so bright like the Sun. He has grown up to look just like you, sensei, and like Kashina-san in so many ways. I will protect him - even from myself._

 

'In the Ninja World, those who break the rules are scum, that's true...but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum!'

The impassioned look on Kakashi's face had jerked a string in Naruto's heart. The cerulean eyes which used to look at this scarecrow-like man with interest now stared at him in adoration. He could feel those eyes boring into him, and felt a tug at his own heart. Naruto was so beautiful and Kakashi felt that he did not deserve such adorations from the boy. So Kakashi forced himself to look away. So Kakashi pretended he did not see.

 

'Naruto, it was really cool how you removed the poison and all, but if you lose any more blood, you're going to die. Good idea to stop the bleeding now...seriously.'

Kakashi had been frightened. Yet he placed his mask firmly and refused to show it. Naruto was too young to see Kakashi's emotions flickering under his mask. To the young Naruto, Kakashi's words were scorning, mocking, sarcastic... Like the rest of the villagers. When he held out his fast-healing hands, his eyes were blank.

 

'I'm telling you this because you don't get it, and you think you get it, which isn't the same as actually getting it. Get it?'

Naruto had looked at Kakashi blankly - not because he didn't understand, but because he realised that Kakashi was same as everyone else. And when he realised, his adoration for the man had stopped. And yet - and yet he could not stop the throbbing in his heart, and the tears that he forced down.

 

'Don't look away...When you live like a Shinobi, this is how it ends.'

Naruto knew the life of a Shinobi. Perhaps he knew it even better than Kakashi did, having been hated his whole life, having seen the grief and anguish his mere presence could bring to the people. And Naruto knew that Kakashi knew. So Naruto wondered if Kakashi hated him as well - to make him see the brutal scene and make him feel the guilt for the long-haired boy he had befriended.

 

 

_I had to find you_

_Tell you I need you_

_Tell you I set you apart_

 

 

'I've been around longer than you have kid. And I've had my share of troubles. You are not the only one who knows how it feels to lose somebody. So, it looks like neither of us have lived a charmed live exactly, have we?. Still. We're not all that bad off. At least you and I have been lucky to find new comrades to feel the void. Anyway, I do know how you feel.'

Kakashi always seemed to hang around Sasuke these days. Ruffling the black hair, looking into those jaded black eyes with understanding. Naruto had shuffled his torn blue sandals and looked down. He would have said to himself that they were just having a friendly teacher-to-student moment, if he had not seen Kakashi's gloved hands trailing down Sasuke's cheeks, and the way his sensei looked at the bastard. While Naruto had suppressed his jealousy, Kakashi had suppressed his feelings - for Naruto. He directed it to Sasuke, and Kakashi thought he could grow to love him instead of his sensei’s son.

 

‘I found someone else to supervise you.’

Naruto had felt the words stab at him, and against his sense of logic, he ended up spouting his true feelings: ‘Why? But I want you!’. But seeing the jonin not even bat an eye on it, Naruto felt the throbbing in his chest go still, and the numbing sensation creeped across his body. For Sasuke. Always for Sasuke. Naruto quickly squinted his eyes as though to show childish disapproval in order to hold back his tears. _I would not have deserved Kakashi anyway._ Naruto had berated himself. _I’m a monster. Kakashi loves Sasuke. I’ll be happy if Kakashi is_.

 

So when Sasuke left the village, when Naruto saw the pain cross Kakashi's usually dulled eyes, he had shouted 'Believe it!'. When he decided he wanted to see Kakashi happy, Naruto knew he would easily forsake his own happiness and life. Because Naruto knew he could never become happy - as the monster he was. It was not just the Kyuubi. It was himself - for loving his teacher, for being jealous, for believing that he could become happy.

 

'I will bring Sasuke back for sure. This is a promise of a lifetime!'

Kakashi was internally glad he had thrust the overbearing weight of guilt on Naruto. He had wanted his Sasuke back, at all costs, although he refused to show it. At one moment, he was willing to let Naruto die in exchange for Sasuke. But when he saw Naruto at the point of death, with only the monster inside him to hold onto, Kakashi realised what he had done. Kakashi realised how his decision to overlook the boy's feeling as well as his own with the excuse that Naruto is sensei's son broke the boy. And Kakashi regretted not apologising when Naruto left.

 

And when Naruto returned, his blonde hair rustling in the breeze, the sun producing a halo around his hair, with his arms and legs toned from the intense training, with his blinding smile, with the toad sage next to him, and the way Naruto looked at Jiraiya... Kakashi could not bring himself to ask for forgiveness. When Naruto had found happiness despite all the grief Kakashi had thrown onto him. And when Naruto had given him the new Icha Icha, he was even less inclined. He gritted his teeth, put on his mask and rambled on excitedly about the book, ignoring the small smile Naruto gave him - a smile that said 'I forgive you'.

 

 

_Tell me your secrets_

_And ask me your questions_

_Oh, let's go back to the start_

 

 

'I think I'm starting to like you'

Naruto had recoiled both internally and physically, when he heard these words in the midst of training. _Does this person not have an idea of what appropriate place and timing for this shit is?_ Kakashi had been wounded by Naruto's reaction. He wondered why Naruto was so aggressively reacting to it. He knew that Naruto was gay, or perhaps bisexual. He heard from floating rumours around Konoha that Naruto was getting love confessions everywhere, even from random Grass-nins. Kakashi decided that perhaps Naruto simply did not like him, and saw him as a sensei, rather than a man. _A really bad sensei_ , Kakashi mentally noted.

 

'Jiraiya-boy is dead'

First Kakashi was astounded by the sheer hatred Naruto showed. The pain of losing a loved-one was understandable, but to think Naruto, the bubbly ball of sunshine and happiness, was capable of such aggressive hatred…

Then Kakashi was worried when he heard from Iruka that Naruto had been going around the village, without his hitai-ate, head down, refusing to talk to anyone.

Then Kakashi was jealous when he saw Naruto crying for Jiraiya.

It made no sense to be jealous over a dead person, but Kakashi felt his head throb as he restrained himself from jumping on the blonde, from kissing away his salty tears - kissing away Naruto's memories and feelings for Jiraiya. Yet Kakashi restrained. His features paling at the thought and at the simultaneous realisation that he simply did not have the right to love the blonde.

 

 

_Running in circles_

_Coming up tails_

_Heads on a science apart_

 

 

But when he heard that Naruto was drowning his grief in having multiple one night stands, almost daily, Kakashi had frowned.

By the time Kakashi had heard, Naruto had gotten with almost everyone in Konoha, including Kiba, Shikamaru, Neji, Hinata, Ino and Gaara at some point at this one time he had visited. Yet, regardless of how long Kakashi waited for Naruto to approach him, he never did. Kakashi now knew it was not a teacher-thing, since he had gotten with Guy (who had babbled on about it to Kakashi, talking about Naruto's 'flaming youthfulness’) and Kurenai and even Ebisu. And Naruto _hated_ Ebisu.

The whole of Rookie 9 seemed to tolerate this act. Sure it was unhealthy, but it drove Naruto through his grief. Some even fell for Naruto, like Shikamaru, who Naruto had tentatively declined, but not without struggling out a teary ‘thank you for loving me’.

Yet, still, Kakashi waited.

But Naruto never came to him.

 

Then Naruto's fight with Pain.

Then the Fourth Shinobi War.

No matter how long Kakashi waited, Naruto never seemed to look at him as anything besides a teacher and a comrade.

 

Then Kakashi became Hokage, and Naruto married Hinata, had children, seemed happy. And Kakashi never forgave himself, when he stepped down from Hokage, the fact that he never told Naruto. Still, Naruto seemed happy, and there was nothing he could do about it anymore.

So, blindly assuming that Naruto was happy, Kakashi had remained a teacher and friend.

And blindly thinking that he could never be loved by the person he loved, Naruto became Hokage, and remained a student and friend.

 

 

_Nobody said it was easy_

_It's such a shame for us to part_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be this hard_

 

 

 

Never knowing how close they were to each other.

Never to know that they loved each other all along.

 

 

_Oh, take me back to the start._


	2. Back to the Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto is sent back in time to his 12-years old self and he just can't deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this fan fiction writing is harder than I thought. It's hard to get the characters right and I had to watch season 1 of Naruto just to remember what happened and what good quotes there were... And it's even harder to write a long chapter. Seriously, all the respect to those who write amazing fan fictions. You are gods.

_The sound of skin seething as it was stretched, the blonde man groaned as he felt his limbs being slowly torn from his torso, and felt darkness engulf him. Nononononono… He could not die here. He still had his children, his wife, his friends… and his sensei. A sudden burst of passion scalded him from the inside, as he cried out in pain and frustration. Nononononono… Why now?_

_Only the sinister silence answered him, and the man could do nothing but struggle in vain, his face already drained of life. The last flashing faces of Hinata, Boruto, Himawari, Sasuke, Sakura, the Rookie 9, and Kakashi-sensei…_

_Nonononono…._

_I don’t want to die. I haven’t told **him** yet. … _

_I don’t want to die._

_Not yet._

 

* * *

 

BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP-BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP-BEEPBEE—

‘Thanks, Gama-stop.’

The bleary-eyed child chimed, then suddenly stilled. His cerulean eyes shifted around his surroundings frantically, as he took in the familiar alarm clock, the familiar plant next to his bed, the familiar poster about ramen, his childhood clothes littering the floor…

Only then, after taking in these surroundings, did he look down at himself and his hands, the small, chubby hands clasping and unclasping in shock.

Day-dreamingly, he slowly ventured to his mirror and stared at his reflection. Longer hair, bigger aqua-blue eyes, chubbier cheeks (fox-whiskers still present), and shorter. The now 12 years old Naruto squinted at himself in disbelief, pinched the back of his hands, closed his eyes and opened them multiple times, before he breathed out:

‘Kami. What. The. Fuck.’

  

Naruto sat at the end of his bed and tried to process the turn of events chronologically, in a logical fashion. He considered his friendly visit to Suna for the Kage summit, how it progressed smoothly and finished earlier than expected. Naruto had then went to some of the shops to buy gifts for Hinata, Boruto and Himawari. He had smiled at the thought of them - he may not have loved Hinata to the extent he once loved Kakashi, but Naruto still loved her. And Naruto loved his children even more dearly. Seeing Boruto grow into a mini-version of himself was somewhat satisfying and worrying, while Himawari was worrying in a different aspect, since she awakened her Byakugan. Naruto loved them all, and believed that he would continue to.

Then Naruto bumped into someone just outside the walls of Suna, saw the other man perform hand signs almost at the speed that Kakashi performed them, and the next thing he knew, Naruto was being dragged into a vortex of darkness. Kurama had growled a warning, but had immediately gone silent, and Naruto was helplessly being led to his death.

And after what seemed to be an endless field of darkness and silence and pain, Naruto ended up here, in his 12 years old self, in his old apartment, back in Konoha where the old man was still Hokage, where Jirayai was probably alive, where Neji was alive as well, where Kakashi was yet to meet him. And it scared Naruto. He had just become Hokage, finally able to protect his loved ones, finally able to love Hinata to the fullest, finally able to love his children, finally able to get away from _him_.

And he was back to the very beginning.

  

Rummaging through his wardrobe, the blonde sighed in disbelief at his _very_ limited clothing choice. His old jumpsuit was still there, albeit worn out and very orange. But Naruto had decided _this time things are going to be different_. He didn’t want to gain his sensei’s attention in any negative way, he didn’t want to see himself falling in love with the stupid scarecrow all over again, but most of all, he didn’t want to see people suffer this time.

His brows furrowed as he internally made his determination, earning an amused growl from within him. Naruto jerked back, his blue eyes swimming in desperate hope, as he slowly sank into his mindscape.

‘Kurama?’

The ever-familiar sewage still had the cage and the old seal in place, forcing Naruto to scrunch his nose in displeasure. He had gotten rid of it after the fight with Madara, as he befriended the beast and declared him as another brother. His hopes for the Kurama he knew died down, but as he started to leave the mindscape, he was jolted by a familiar growl ( _a purr_ , a madly giggling Naruto had insisted to Kurama, who in turn had shot him an offended glare).

**‘Brat.’**

Naruto would have glomped the furball if it wasn’t for the seal and the blood-red cage barring Kurama. Regardless, Naruto yelped in glee as he ran to the cage. Kurama’s red eyes met Naruto’s blue ones. After a momentary silence, Kurama quietly held out his fist to Naruto who bumped it. Both grinned.

**‘Now, chibi-brat—’**

‘Oi! I’m still me, yah-know!’

**‘Yeah, yeah. So, chibi-brat, a teary reunion is nice and all but can you just take the seal off so I can get out of the cage?’**

‘If you keep calling me chibi, I might as well leave it there.’

**‘Heh. You wouldn’t dare. I’m your precious friend.’**

And true to those words, Naruto removed the seal swiftly and stepped back to give Kurama some room.

The fox stretched its spine, crooning its neck and closed its eyes in pleasure. Naruto suddenly bolted, and attached himself to the ball of fur, ignoring the annoyed snarl. Snuggling himself to the neck fur, Naruto felt his eyes water against his will.

**‘You missed me, brat.’**

It was hardly a question - merely an amused statement. The blonde just nodded into the fur and snuggled himself into it further. Now that he was smaller and at least physically younger, Naruto felt the liberty to be a bit childish (not to mention that he had been wanting to feel the fur for a decade).

Kurama would have snorted at this childish action, if it wasn’t for Naruto’s sudden shrinkage with the result of him looking _adorable_. The fox simply sighed in resignation as he let himself spoil Naruto.

 

‘Sooo… What the fuck happened.’

Kurama took it back. This now chibi-brat was hardly adorable. Now it was being a pain-in-the-ass. Naruto refused to let go of the handful of fur he had and simply dangled when Kurama shifted his position from lying down to sitting upright. Feeling the cerulean eyes look desperately at him, the fox opened his mouth.

**‘We time-travelled, if that wasn’t so obvious. The enemy had activated a jutsu that bends time, and intended to reverse your age infinitely so that you would simply cease to exist. I merely bent the space in addition to time by using the rest of my chakra - don’t look at me like that brat. It was the only way I could think of to save your life. Again, don’t look at me like that and just get off my neck - anyways it appears my calculations were wrong and both you and I made it to the past.’**

Naruto wasn’t sure what to say. One, he was touched, _very touched_ by this camaraderie of his fox-friend. Two, he was confused by how it would have actually worked, but didn’t question it. Three, now he was back to the past, he had to fight the enemies he faced off all over again (and the blonde subconsciously added ‘Hatake Kakashi’ to the mental tally of his enemies).

**‘Shut up, brat. I can hear you thinking (very literally). Don’t think too hard on it all. Just find the source, destroy it, and you won’t have to face off every single enemy. As for your sensei, it’s your problem, not mine. So if you’re not going to let go of my neck, get out.’**

A gentle tug at Naruto evolved into a push, and the fox pushed its baffled host out of the mindscape. The blonde tussled his hair and sighed. He grinned tiredly and trudged to the kitchen to be welcomed by instant cup ramen and out-of-date milk.

It was going to be a hell of an another life.

 

'Ehh Sasuke-kun,' the pinkette twisted herself as she wriggled towards the brooding boy, who merely flinched in disgust, 'Naruto that baka isn't here and our sensei is late... and... ano... I was wondering if you would... wanttogooutwithme?

Sasuke ignored the girl's whines and snorted at her wiggling meekly. _Like a worm_ , Sasuke mused and smirked at the thought. Sakura, misinterpreting the smirk, internally shouted  _Shannaro!!! Sasuke-kun smiled at me!!!_

In that moment, the door slid open, and Sakura jumped at the sudden company while Sasuke remained in his seat and simply looked at the figure in front of the door. The silver gravity-defying hair stuck out as the masked man surveyed the room. The scarecrow frowned at the lack of a certain blonde but shrugged it off, taking into account Naruto's usual tardiness and thought he was late like Obito used to be. At least, from what he had seen from the boy's Academy profile, Kakashi had a feeling that Naruto would be similar to Obito, and it was going to be a pain in the ass, even if he was Minato-sensei's son.

'Hmmm…how do I put this? My first impression of you is...I hate you. Meet me at the roof.'

As the silver-haired man disappeared, with only a cloud of smoke showing that he was ever there, the inner Sakura screamed:  _he hates us??? How dare he!!! I'm the best kunoichi in class and Sasuke is the top rookie!! (ahhh Sasuke is so cool~) We're going to show him!_ _Shannaro!_ while Sasuke raised his eyebrows which furrowed in concern as Naruto was yet to turn up and though tentatively, Sasuke had regarded Naruto as a rival. Sasuke immediately shrugged off the thought.  _Hmph. Maybe he just chickened out. Whatever, he's a dead-last and a dobe anyways.  
_

 

Kakashi was thankful he had his mask on when he shunshined to the roof and saw Naruto  _sleeping_ on the roof. If it wasn't for his well-trained pokerface, Kakashi's surprise would have been obvious, even through his mask. The blonde was wearing a black turtleneck with two orange stripes on each sleeve, a pair of black shorts showing his slender legs (kami, was the boy even eating properly?) and long black boots. In all, there was no orange jumpsuit, no screamings of 'I'm going to be Hokage, dattebayo!', no obnoxious 12-years old child. Kakashi brought himself closer to the boy, unable to abandon his curiosity, and stared. He had never really looked at the boy, even though he had been watching the child even before his birth as an ANBU. Kakashi could hear Naruto's soft breathing and felt it against his skin like butterfly-taps, and was bewildered by how  _beautiful_ this boy looked.

When he brought his face closer to the boy's to make further inspections, the eyelids suddenly cracked open, and the cerulean blue met the surprised (yet still somehow lazy) black eye. Silence closed upon them, as the blue eyes seemed to swim in a sudden burst of sorrow, making the boy look so much older, and Kakashi looked back, stunned by this sudden show of emotion. Then the boy's eyes closed, and just when the grey-haired man thought everything was just his imagination, Naruto growled:

'Please, get off my face.'

And Kakashi definitely did not expect that.

Almost staggering in his step, the man walked backwards, giving Naruto the room to yawn and stretch; crouching in front, extending out his hands, crooning his neck much like a feline as he gave a satisfied purr. Then Naruto simply sat up and looked at Kakashi with dulled eyes, so strikingly different from the ones that expressed sorrow and grief just a moment ago. While Kakashi was recovering from the shock, Naruto recovered from his own, hidden behind his dulled eyes and straightened mouth.  _Baka. Baka. Baka!_ He berated himself, as he wondered just how much he gave away to the scarecrow it that one fleeting moment. He had promised himself that he would stay away from the man, he had promised himself that he wouldn't get attached to him in any way this time, and he had promised himself that he would not fall in love with  _him_ again. And only a day after making such determination. It was close. Too close. He had to put a space between them somehow.

'Who are you?'

Naruto demanded, despite knowing the answer. After receiving the expected answer (although the bit of splutter Kakashi had was not expected), he simply closed his eyes and opened them again, lazily, much like his favourite Nara.

'Kakashi-san, I would appreciate it if you don't come close to me again.'

The scarecrow's eyes widened at the blonde's remark. He was so different from Obito. He was too different from what the Academy reports said about him. He was more like a Nara, maybe even a Uchiha. Kakashi filed away these thoughts for further inspection as he gave his trademark eye-smile.

'Maa that's a bit hard, especially when I'm your sensei and all.'

He felt his spine crawl by Naruto's icy glare.

'And do teachers try to wake their students by staring at them? Besides, it's not like you taught me anything yet, so you're not my sensei.'

 _Man, this kid can be harsh._ Kakashi simply continued to eye-smile.

A giggle nearby interrupted them as Sasuke trudged towards them with Sakura tailing him with maniacal outbursts of giggles. Both Sasuke and Sakura saw Naruto, in his new clothes, with the icy air around him, and stopped, their eyes widening. Sakura stomped towards Naruto and shouted at him for trying to be cool, while Sasuke just watched from a distance. He could feel that Naruto had something fundamental change in him, and Sasuke wasn't sure how to handle it. When he saw Naruto shake off Sakura and approach Sasuke with a bright smile, the Uchiha was even less certain. He simply 'hn'ed away the thought for now and settled down next to Naruto, who simply gave a soft smile, which made Sasuke's heart pound, much to his confusion. He glared at Sakura giggling away next to him.

'Maa maa... Enough with all this. How about a little introduction, hmm?'

'Introduction? What are we supposed to say?'

Sakura frowned at the jounin in between her giggles.

'Well... Things you like, things you don't like, dreams for the future, hobbies.'

'Why don't you go first, sensei, so we can see how it works?'

The pinkette demanded, still in between her giggles. Kakashi sighed but complied.

'Things I like and don't... I don't want to tell you that. Dreams for the future... never really thought about it... Hobbies, hm. I have lots of hobbies'

Sakura sweat-dropped as Sasuke narrowed his eyes on his new sensei while Naruto simply stared at his with his still dull eyes.

'Pinkette, you next.'

'Okay, so things I like... I mean the person I like is... eheh...' Sakura glanced at Sasuke who simply sighed. 'Things I hate... NARUTO!' Sakura shouted, pointing accusingly at the blonde, who simply looked at her with saddened eyes and shook his head. 'Hobbies... Hmmm... ehehehe.... Dreams for the future... ehhheh' Sakura ended her introduction with glancing at Sasuke on both counts and squealing. Kakashi deadpanned at the scene. He knew girls this age were more interested in guys, but really, this one was going a bit overboard.

'Brooding guy, you next.'

Sasuke shot him a look before starting.

'I hate a lot of things. I don't particularly like anything.' Sasuke hesitated a bit as Naruto's smiling face crossed his mind, but dismissed it quickly. 'What I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality - to restore my clan and to kill a certain someone.'  _An avenger_ , Kakashi internally sighed,  _he's going to be hard to deal with... but I do understand him._

'Blonde, your turn.'

'I like people who appreciate my existence, my friends and training. I hate traitors, those who leave behind their friends and those who assume fate is unchangeable. As for hobbies - I do some gardening and like going for walks at night. My dream is to become a person who can protect their friends.'

Kakashi was struck dumb by the level of maturity in the young boy. There was no mention of ramen nor a loud proclamation of 'hokage this, hokage that'. Sakura thought this as well and shouted at the blonde boy, accusing him of lying.

'This is supposed to be a truthful introduction! You didn't mention a thing of ramen or hokage for that matter!'

'Isn't that what I just said, Sakura-chan?'

'Huh?' Sakura replied ever-so gracefully.

'I don't particularly like ramen. It's the only thing I can bear to afford as an orphan. Of course, I do like it on occasions, maybe once a week, but I've been having ramen every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the last 8 or so years, so obviously, I am quite tired of it. I also said that my dream is to become a person who can protect their friends. Essentially, hokage is the same thing, except a hokage has to protect everyone in their village - and I would like to befriend as many people as I can in this village and hold each and every one as precious. So yes, basically, I do want to become a hokage.'

Kakashi, Sakura and Sasuke all stared at the blonde boy dumbfounded. Sasuke internally smirked at the thought that Naruto was now more rival-worthy than before, Sakura was unable to process the logic and simply stared at Naruto as though he was spewing a different language and Kakashi was almost tempted to reveal his other eye to inspect the boy, who seemed too uncharacteristic from what he had seen and analysed. But for now, he kept the thought on the back of his mind as he attempted to diffuse the tense air:

'We are going to do a mission tomorrow.'

Sakura and Sasuke noticeably brightened, while Naruto simply looked at him. Slightly unnerved, Kakashi eye-smiled at Naruto and eventually to the rest of the team-mates.

'It's going to be a Survival Test'

'Ehhhh? But sensei, we already did all that in the Academy! That's why we're here, as genins!'

Kakashi donned his evil-laugh as he continued to eye-smile at his cute little students.

'Ehehehehe... But this is different. Because you guys have 66% chance of failing!'

The silver-haired man proclaimed dramatically, and sadistically amused himself in Sakura's horrified 'ehhh?'s and Sasuke's twitching eyebrows. He looked over at Naruto, hoping there was some impact. There was, but not the one Kakashi had wanted - the blonde was simply smiling.  _Such a beautiful smile_ , Kakashi caught himself thinking. He shook the thought out of his head.  _Sensei's son. It's sensei's son, for kami's sake!_

'Be here tomorrow at 5am, don't you dare eat breakfast!'

Kakashi quickly shunshined, leaving behind two confused genins and one thoughtful genin. The jounin suppressed his chakra and was secretly watching their interaction afterwards. Sasuke got up to leave, and Naruto grabbed him by the wrist and said something to the avenger with a soft smile. Kakashi felt a small pang in his chest. _If he's able to be so friendly to Sasuke, why is he so cold towards me?_ To the scarecrow's surprise, Sasuke's features seemed to soften momentarily before he briskly walked away, with the fangirl clucking and giggling while tailing Sasuke.

Naruto was left alone on the roof and Kakashi watched him as the boy went to the railings. He thought he saw an unnameable expression flicker over Naruto's features when he looked out to the village of Konoha. The blonde ruffled his hair in a seeming frustration. For a moment, he seemed to talk to himself and sounded upset, as Kakashi saw the blue eyes brimming with tears. Then he suddenly stopped, seemed to confirm something with himself and shot a glare in the direction where Kakashi was hiding. It was now icy blue eyes once more, and the scarecrow felt as though he had been electrified and stayed still, trying to further repress his chakra.

The boy _growled_ at him and huffed as he turned on his heels and left.

Leaving Kakashi utterly baffled and curious.


	3. The Red String They Call Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto is drowning in sorrow whilst Kakashi is completely oblivious as to why. Everyone used to say that Naruto wasn't a book-smart guy, and his plan to keep Kakashi from getting interested in him is failing miserably. Rather, it backfires as Kakashi's curiosity is roused again and again by Naruto's uncharacteristic actions. Kakashi may be the (arguably) strongest ninja in Konoha, but maybe his heart is surprisingly fragile...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I said weekly updates... Hah.
> 
> I'm so sorry I took so long! There were some personal matters to look into before indulging myself in writing. I hope I didn't keep you all waiting for too long.
> 
> Thank you so much for everyone leaving kudos and such amazing comments. Although it was tough this month, your constant support kept me going with this story.

**'Kit'**

The fox growled as the small-framed boy shook his blonde hair into the orange fur. Gasps were escaping his mouth, which Kurama could only assume were sobs. Sighing, Kurama nudged the boy with his snout and snorted in mild annoyance when Naruto clung harder to his fur. Sighing in resignation, he allowed Naruto to cry it out and felt his heart break when he felt the tears dropping on him. The man-now-turned-boy assumed the same childishness as his appearance, and Kurama wasn't too sure if it was for the boy's own good.

Sure, the chibi-brat was adorable, but after two whole hours of tears and sobs, Kurama's patience was running low.

**'Kit'**

The lowered decibel in his voice made Naruto look up, his cerulean eyes now swimming with tears, sorrow and grief dancing on his delicate features. The fox slowly beckoned him to let go of the fur that Naruto was twisting in his palm (rather painfully, too). After much deliberation and coaxing, Naruto finally let go of it, earning a satisfied purr. Kurama stared at the boy's still anxious eyes, which looked back at him with what felt like a bitter smile.

**'Kit. I know you're suffering because of that white-haired brat. Just know that I'm here.'**

Kurama waited for the response, and when he saw a slight nod, he sighed in understanding.

**'Look, kit, I know you're not in the mood, but you have to make plans. You said that you'll protect everyone this time, and if you really want to, you have to have a solid plan.'**

Naruto looked at him with blank eyes, then flared in passion, as he remembered his determination. Slowly the blue eyes trailed to the beast's already-grinning face, and the blonde's own lips quirked as he thought of how childish he was just a moment ago, despite being a 30-something adult in mentality.

'Thanks Kurama. I'll think of some plans. In the meantime, I have to pass the bell-test.'

Both Kurama and Naruto simultaneously held out their fists which they both bumped, grinning.

'I'll come back and discuss the plans. See you soon, fluffy!'

And after Naruto left his minds cape, the fox rolled his eyes in exasperation at the long-term nickname. Resting his head on his arms, Kurama thought, **_just be safe, kit. Don't get hurt, by enemies or by that white-haired_** _**brat.**_

 

Kakashi bemoaned his loss of leisurely free time to his curiosity as he watched Naruto from the adjacent apartment block. A sigh of relief passed his masked lips when Naruto seemed to come out of his two hours of meditation at last (which, in itself was strange, seeing that his Academy records said that Naruto couldn't sit still for a second) and the scarecrow simply watched the blonde as his eyes flared up in determination. A small grin graced Naruto's lips, and Kakashi could have sworn it was the most beautiful and precious thing he had ever seen.

Still compressing his chakra, Kakashi dared to approach closer, just to see that  _beautiful_ face better, but stopped when Naruto shot a glance at his direction. The white-haired man froze stiff where he crouched, as Naruto's eyes narrowed on him.

 _Since when did genins have kage-level chakra sensing capabilities?_ Kakashi internally groaned, his headache worsening from the sudden development of his sensei's son.

Seeing that he was noticed, Kakashi decided to go up to Naruto.

'Yo.'

Kakashi could positively see Naruto's eyebrows twitch in irritation ( _oh so similarly to_ _Kushina-san, when she got irritated with him._ Kakashi half-expected strands of red hair to suddenly protrude out and send out Killing Intent _)._  Immediately, a smile was plastered on Naruto, too wide to be real, covering his cringing eyes.

 _'_ Hello, Kakashi-san. How can I help you?'

This time it was Kakashi's turn to cringe. The formality Naruto was adopting kind of hurt, even though the blonde was just a child.

'Oh, just going around everyone's houses to make sure they haven't died from exhaustion of last-minute training. How are you holding up, Naruto-chan?'

Kakashi gave his trademark eye-smile which Naruto reflected. But not without twitching slightly at the '-chan' - when people used it, it was usually either a term of endearment or a mockery of his height. Since Kakashi only met him today, Naruto decided it was the latter.

'Great, Kakashi-san. Will that be all? Because you are interrupting my training.'

 _You're wasting my time. Get the fuck out._ That was the underlying message Kakashi caught. He felt more curious than hurt, and wondered why on earth the child was so defensive around him. Truly, from what Kakashi could recall, he hadn't done anything even mildly annoying or upsetting to Naruto. He had even looked after the kid on his spare times, as his ANBU alias of 'Wolf', and the child always loved his companionship, to the point Naruto gave him his most treasured plant, Mr. Ukki.  _The kid was four back then,_ Kakashi berated himself,  _and you were wearing your mask. Of course he doesn't remember._

Still, it did't explain why Naruto disliked him so much.

'Maa, I'm sure just a simple, cordial chat won't take up that much time,' Kakashi placed his feet on Naruto's windowsill, which Naruto blocked, denying further entrance. Kakashi quirked his eyebrow in question as Naruto simply stared hard at him, in irritation, annoyance and ... sorrow? The scarecrow cocked his head to the side, mildly confused.

'No. Kakashi-san. As I've told you before, you are yet to be my sensei, and we are simply strangers so far. I don't want strangers in my house. I hope you understand, Kakashi-san,' Naruto reasoned, all the while blocking Kakashi from entering through the window.  _The kid is strong_ , Kakashi thought,  _I'm using my full strength and chakra enhancement on my leg and he's still blocking me_ , his lone eye watched the blonde breathing a bit roughly as he spoke. The small gasps as he tried to fend Kakashi off were simply too adorable and...  _Nonono Kakashi you are not lusting over your student. He's your sensei's child. He's a decade younger than you._

Kakashi resigned to his reason and put his impending lust behind him as he lifted his leg that Naruto was blocking. The blonde blinked up at Kakashi and sighed, almost in gratitude.

'If you would mind leaving me now, Kakashi-san, it would be wonderful.'

No, not  _almost_. It was in gratitude. Naruto was glad that Kakashi was leaving.

And Kakashi, twenty-something jounin, ex-anbu captain, youngest recorded Academy graduate, felt his heart corrode.

So Kakashi Hatake, the renowned Copy-Cat Kakashi, son of the much feared White Fang, hung his head, nodded slightly and left the blonde.

Not noticing the cerulean eyes that followed his back, brimming with tears.

 

Sasuke's eye twitched as Sakura blared out her annoyance at Naruto and their sensei. It was 9am already and they were waiting for  _fucking 4 hours_. Sure, Sakura was happy that she got time with _her_ Sasuke, but 4 hours with the barely 'hn'ing brooding boy was... tiresome. Sakura stopped her shouting, interrupted by the grumbling noise from her stomach.  _Shannaroooo!!! I'm going to kill Naruto when he gets here!_

Sasuke felt his own stomach grumble and reflexively sighed as he waited for Naruto and their sensei.  _What's with Naruto?_ At one moment he was an annoying heap of blonde then suddenly he was quiet, still annoying but silently happy and...  _pretty_. Sasuke gagged at his thought and started questioning his sanity. This was all because of Naruto. He could still remember the blonde gripping his wrists, seeking Sasuke's attention, the wind tossing his sunny hair as his sapphire eyes lit up as he said 'see you tomorrow, Sasuke'. Yesterday, he was glad Naruto seemed to have matured a bit. After the day, Sasuke wasn't so certain. He closed his eyes and sighed.

'Hi Sasuke!'

His eyes jerked open and felt his ears flush red at seeing the blonde right in front of him, grinning. No, Naruto wasn't obnoxious as he used to be. He was still the same happy and loud person he was, but his now intermittent smiles and gestures of joy seemed so precious.

Feeling a weight thump on him, Sasuke felt his muscles protest as he was forced into a hug. _From Naruto. I thought Naruto hated me? Why is he hugging me? Why am I letting him hug me?_ An avalanche of thoughts crashed onto him and felt embarrassment overwhelm him. Surprisingly, enjoying the hug, Sasuke made his arms limp (because they were literally shouting at him to hug back the boy) and simply let Naruto give him a warm, loving hug, that said  _you are precious to me_. He almost felt his eyes give way to tears when Naruto let go, and replaced his dumbfounded expression with a scowl.

'Why did you do that?'

Naruto simply smiled, the whisker marks crawling upwards as the smile reached his eyes, and gave a simple shrug.

'Just because.'

Sakura gaped at the scene.  _Naruto hugged Sasuke. He took Sasuke's hug-virginity._ She was furiously planning on how to decapitate Naruto during the 'Survival Mission' as a pay-back for his crime when Naruto beamed towards her.

'Hi Sakura!'

Then Sakura felt herself being half-suffocated by the blonde. The blonde looked  _so happy_ to see Sakura and to be giving her a hug. Dazed by the sudden hug-attack, she let her arms protest against the hug and push him away, only to regret it immediately after.

Naruto fell on his back, and a look of hurt crossed his features as he simply pouted and tried to look sheepish at the pinkette's response. Both Sasuke and Sakura flinched, staring at the noticeably dispirited blonde. They had only seen him pranking the villagers and other ninjas in town, always with a mischievous glint in his eyes and always, always smiling. They had seen him in Academy classes, always keeping up his sheepishness and always smiling despite being berated by the teachers and instructors. For the first time they had actually  _looked_ at him, they could see he was fragile. Of course, on the blonde's part it was mostly acting - to garner some kind of sympathy or understanding so the teamwork could improve. 

Suddenly Naruto beamed up at both of them, confusing the hell out of both freshly-graduated genins.

'Did you guys have breakfast?'

 

The scarecrow stood, without the omnipresent porn-book, in front of the memorial stone. He looked at the usual names,  _Minato Namikaze, Obito Uchiha, Rin Nohara._ A sigh passed his masked lips as his fingers traced each name.

'Sensei, Obito, Rin... I have a team of genins I might have to take on. I really don't know if I can do it. There's your son, sensei, Naruto Uzumaki. He's somehow so different to how others know him. I thought he'll be like Kushina-san but he has your personality. But for some reason he seems to really hate me,' a depressed chuckle escaped from his mask, as the silver-haired man slightly hung his head.

 _And I'm attracted to this 12 years old brat who's also your son_ went unsaid. Kakashi feared his ex-sensei will come back to life just to beat him up.

'There's also your distant cousin, Obito, called Sasuke Uchiha. He's a brooding kid, just like I used to be. Like I still am. Do you think I'll be a good teacher to him?' Kakashi softly asked the winds whistling by.

'There's also a fangirl amidst, even worse than you were, Rin.'

Kakashi chuckled lightly and imagined Rin smacking his head saying 'I was never a fangirl'.

The scarecrow looked up at the passing clouds, his single eye looking searchingly beyond the blue, seeking for some divine intervention.

'I wonder if I can be a good sensei to all of them?'

 

When Kakashi silently went to watch the genins, compressing his chakra and hiding in the bushes, he did not expect to arrive at the scene of Naruto tackling the brooding boy to a hug. He pushed down his pang of jealousy which eventually subsided when Naruto did the same to Sakura. Kakashi could not stop himself from imagining the blonde hugging him, thinking of how soft his golden hair would feel and how Naruto's short arms would wrap around him.  _Shut up, Kakashi. Sensei's son. Goddamnit._

Naruto somehow had persuaded Sasuke and Sakura to eating some protein bars, which they gingerly accepted. Kakashi smiled slightly in satisfaction.  _At least Naruto bothered to look underneath the underneath_. When they were done eating and settled into a comfortable silence, Kakashi finally made an entrance.

'YOU'RE LATE!'

Sakura pointed at him accusingly and her eyes narrowed on the scarecrow-sensei.

'Maa, sorry, I was lost on the path of life.'

'Aren't we all,' Naruto muttered under his breath, clearly as frustrated as Sakura. He could swear Kakashi's eyes positively  _twinkled_ at his statement.

'Well, let's get started,' Kakashi continued brightly, getting out an alarm clock, 'there, it's set for noon.'

Sakura and Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and Naruto looked at the ground, refusing to meet Kakashi's eye. A familiar chime of the two bells caught the blonde's ears who jolted to see it being held up by the red string.

'Your assignment is very simple. You have to take these bells from me. That's all there is to it. If you can't get it by noon, you won't get lunch,' a chuckle escaped from Naruto's lips, making the scarecrow's eyebrows quirk upwards, 'and you'll be tied to that post over there.'

Both the pinkette and the brooding boy glanced at Naruto, who looked at both of them in confidence - as though he somehow knew that they could do it as a team. For a split second, both Sakura and Sasuke felt an urge to smile at Naruto in trust. Sakura suddenly jolted in thought and stared at the two bells.

'Wait a moment. There's only two bells...'

Kakashi gave his trademark eye-smile.

'That way one of you who don't get the bell will be tied to the post and be disqualified and ultimately sent back to the Academy. You can use any weapon you choose, including a shuriken. If you're not prepared to kill me, you won't be able to take the bells.'

'Those weapons are too dangerous, sensei!'

Naruto chuckled, gaining the attention of the three around him.

'Sakura, do you really think that we, freshly graduated genins, can even lay a scratch on an elite jounin like Kakashi-san?'

All three widened their eyes in surprise. Really, with Naruto's sudden growth and all, his growth in maturity and intelligence was expected but they were still constantly surprised by how much perception Naruto hid behind his glittering eyes and mischievous smile. Sasuke smirked to hide his surprise ( _It's a Uchiha-Aburame-Nara thing,_ Naruto once joked to Kurama,  _it's almost like they have a rule saying 'thou shalt not blush or gape or smile - simply smirk'_.) and felt rattled by Naruto's sudden growth. Now, rather than thinking him as worthy of his rivalry, the Uchiha was worried that Naruto may surpass him and become powerful quickly. Kakashi tried to stop himself form flinching at the '-san', in vain, as he eye-smiled to cover up his twitching eye. Sakura and Sasuke were oblivious to it, while Naruto stared at him with a blank expression, and lowered his head in the sudden feeling of guilt that flooded him.

'Right. Ready?'

The three genins nodded, to which Kakashi replied in his lazy drone, 'start.'

 

Internally, Naruto sighed to himself at the repetitive turn of events and hid in the bushes like the rest of his team-mates. He took in the nostalgic scene of his ex-sensei taking out his  _Icha Icha_ and glossing over the words with his single lazy eye. The blonde could barely press down his feelings bubbling to the surface and could hardly suppress the thousand butterflies from flapping in his stomach, making him queasy and forcing his eyes to water. Still, he pushed them down - the memories, the feelings, the thoughts.

He had to survive, save his friends.

Simply repeat.

Clenching his fists, Naruto suppressed his chakra and moved silently, his golden hair glimmering in the intermittent rays of light that pierced through the foliage of leaves.

 

The red string tying the two silver bells floated in the soft wind, soon to turn into a storm, silently, subtly tying the two people to each other.

The red string they call fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... I tried. Naruto's neglect and coldness is stomping on Kakashi's heart while Kakashi's mere presence is stomping on Naruto's. Man, I wish my love-life was that exciting... Sadly my love-life is simply non-existent.
> 
> It was quite short... I changed it multiple times because I wasn't satisfied, but it ended up making the chapter shorter than what I would count as a decent amount. I'll do better next chapter!
> 
> Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> -AkaDono


	4. Sensei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi grows weary of Naruto.
> 
> Naruto denies himself the right to fall in love.

The raven-haired boy glared out of the foliage of leaves, cautiously watching the silver haired man as he brought out his inappropriate book. Sasuke could feel the feverish thumping from his chest as he pondered on the possible plans that were spreading out in his mind. Yet, the thoughts of Naruto’s growth kept coming back to him - how did the dobe become so mature almost overnight? To the top rookie of the year, the golden haired boy’s maturity level appeared impossible, especially given how he was pranking the daylight out of the villagers just days prior. And the hug confused him even more, and the puzzlement he was facing irritated him. 

But the fact that his heart shook a little at the golden hair that softly tickled his neck irritated him more.

Still, being a Uchiha at heart, Sasuke pushed down the bubbling emotions and stayed on look-out for a chance to grab the bells.

‘Sasuke’

The whispered name gently landed on his ear, as Sasuke abruptly turned around. Seeing Naruto smile at him, he relaxed a little, but frowned. How did he not sense Naruto? While Sasuke held an internal debate behind the steely facade of his, Naruto grinned, reminiscing about the teme in his time. But this was Sasuke as well, and Naruto was obliged to save him, even if it meant manipulating him. He wasn’t Orochimaru, and of course, Naruto did not plan to turn his once best friend to the killing machine he turned out to be - he would save Sasuke and make him have a happy life with Sakura without being looped into the cycle of hate.

The gears in Naruto’s head turned and clicked, searching for different routes and different outcomes of this specific challenge. Looking straight into Sasuke’s eyes, Naruto smiled as he explained his plans.

‘Why don’t we group up?’

The ducktail-haired boy raised his eyebrows and smirked.

‘You and me? What are you on, dobe? You think that just because you’re actually acting your age, you’re somehow equal to me?’

Sasuke regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth, but Naruto didn’t even flinch.

‘Not just me and you, with Sakura as well. It’s not like I _want_ to group up with you, but the problem is that this is the point of the mission. See, you have two bells, meaning that according to Kakashi-san’s explanation, only two people can pass, right?’

Sasuke nodded in agreement, albeit annoyed. Of course he knew _that_. What did Naruto think he was?

‘But the thing is - have you ever seen a two-man genin Konoha team?’

Duck-tail frowned at that. No, he hadn’t seen a single two-man team around Konoha, but there was always a possibility of grouping the genins who passed the mission again?

‘My point is, this mission is testing one of the fundamentals of ninja, you should know, right, Mr. Top-Rookie-Of-The-Year? _Teamwork_.’

Sasuke’s frown deepened at the sarcastic tone of his voice and yet he couldn’t find another explanation that could counter Naruto’s. He looked at Naruto, the pair of onyx met pair of cerulean, and Sasuke had to use all of his willpower to not be drawn into those hypnotic eyes. Clearing his throat slightly, he asked, in a very un-Uchiha-like manner.

‘So what do we do?’

 

Kakashi was standing with his beloved Icha Icha for longer than ten minutes, wondering why they haven’t lost their patience yet. If they didn’t appear for the next ten minutes, he would go hunting for them, the silver-haired man decided, satisfied at their seemingly cautious approach at this task. Although his lone eye was gazing at the words describing the main character’s rather disturbing fantasies about his crush, Kakashi’s mind returned to the golden haired boy, the tired blue eyes glistening with tears. Why was the teen so hostile towards him? Kakashi wondered as he flipped another page without reading. Naruto seemed almost overly-friendly with Sakura and even Sasuke so why Kakashi, who was supposed to be his sensei?

While his mind was roaming, he almost missed the incoming kunai, and gracefully stepped out of its way. He carefully regarded the kunai for a second, which was stuck feebly on the ground, giving Kakashi the certainty that Sakura was the one who threw it. He couldn’t help but frown at such a dismal attempt at a throw; perhaps he did not even need to worry about Naruto nor the team if this was the best they could do.

Next was an incoming barrage of shurikens, apparently from Sasuke. Kakashi again found himself feeling disappointed at their individual and seemingly uncoordinated attempts, and sighed as he wondered how in the world he would be able to teach these children about the importance of teamwork. He would probably end up reusing Minato-sensei and Obito’s words.

Kakashi promptly returned to reading his Icha Icha when suddenly Naruto appeared to _shunshin_ (was Kakashi seeing this right?) and entertain him with a barrage of kicks and punches. Naruto’s taijutsu ability was as good as a jounin, Kakashi was surprised to discover, as he placed the Icha Icha back in his pouch. But still not good enough, thought the silver-haired man, as he countered Naruto with ease. He’ll fight Naruto for now, Kakashi decided, since the three appeared to be working separately, then he’ll go find others and torment the little genins. Kakashi cleared his throat to ready himself with the dramatics that always came with teaching (terrorising) genins.

‘Alright, it seems to be the time for Lesson One: Taijutsu!’

Kakashi could swear he saw Naruto roll his eyes at the dramatics and chuckled. The blonde obviously had no idea how adorable he could look when he tried to be apathetic.

Only for his thoughts to be discarded quickly as a ball of flame rushed towards him.

‘Are we already on Lesson Two: Ninjutsu?’

The jounin sweatdropped as he jumped out of its way barely escaping unscathed. Then he saw Naruto whose grin seemed almost feral, and tried his best to look bemused while suppressing the shudder running down his spine.

‘No, Kakashi-san, it’s game-over.’

Naruto quickly made the handseals, with such ease and speed that Kakashi could barely make out the Tiger seal, and shouted:

‘Suiton: Wild Water Wave!’

And since when could a non-Uchiha/Hyuuga kid form C-ranked elemental jutsu? Kakashi slowly came to the realisation that Naruto was probably the strongest rookie of the year, far ahead of Sasuke who was lauded by the teachers and the council members - Kakashi would go so far as to say that Naruto seemed to be one of the geniuses of the generation. The silver haired jounin cringed as he made the seals to counter the futon; _and where were all those geniuses now?_ He inwardly commented, sarcasm bleeding through his thoughts, _One dead, one living surrounded by the memories of the dead, one a dead man walking._ Kakashi could not bear to become a first-hand witness to his own student becoming what he was, or what Itachi became, or what Minato-sensei is. 

‘Katon: Flame Bullet’

Kakashi chanted as his jutsu overwhelmed Naruto’s and flooded the training ground with steam, obscuring the jounin’s sight for a second, as a larger shriken was thrown towards his legs, forcing him to jump up. And the moment he realised his mistake, the moment when Naruto de-transformed, the game was indeed over.

 

The cycloptic jounin sighed sheepishly as he watched Naruto dangling the pair of silver bells before him, as Sasuke and Sakura both emerged from the bushes. The team dynamics was off, and Kakashi could feel it - Naruto was obviously the one behind the plan and his abilities overpowered his team-mates. Yet, teamwork was important to teach, regardless of their current compatibilities.

‘So, what are you going to do with those bells, Naruto? Give one to the person you want in your team and you can pass together’

Kakashi watched critically as Naruto appeared to assess the two freshly-graduated genins in front of him. While Sakura kept a slightly troubled demeanour, her Inner Sakura raged, screeching profanities after profanities at why she was at the mercy of the _baka_ -Naruto _._ Sasuke smirked, certain that Naruto would choose him, assured that what Naruto told him was to simply get Sasuke working with him instead of the pinkette. Yet, to both of their surprise, Naruto tossed the two bells to them, one to each. Kakashi raised his eyebrows slightly at Naruto’s selfless action. The blonde looked at the jounin straight in the eyes.

‘I’ll just give the bells to these two, then. No one deserves to feel out of place in a team.’

Sasuke frown deepened while Sakura’s Inner squealed in joy and delight. 

 

And Kakashi’s watchful eye narrowed.

 

'What do you think, Kakashi-san? Pass or fail?'

Naruto asked lazily, and looked up at the jounin with his blue eyes perfectly screaming naivety and innocence - yet Kakashi started to feel more troubled by the person who stood before him. The creeping anxiety he had previously dismissed as his imagination was becoming more apparent. No longer did he see a beautiful and perhaps unfairly assessed child, who just became genin. His intellect and experience was urging him that Uzumaki Naruto was a predator.

 

'All of you… Pass. Tell me, Naruto, how did you know?'

The blonde cocked his head to the side, as though to mimic Sasuke and Sakura’s obvious confusion and interest. Kakashi noted with his watchful eye, the millisecond of a tremor on Naruto’s lips. This was not a freshly graduated genin - this was a war veteran.

'Know what, Kakashi-san?'

'Maa… I would appreciate it if you could drop it. We are going to be your team, after all. We all need to be familiar with each other’s strengths.'

'Ahh you mean about how this was supposed to be about teamwork, ne? It wasn’t so hard to figure it out you know, Kakashi-san,' Naruto gave his trademark broad smile and scratched the back of his head, 'Konoha’s ninjas are well-known for their emphasis on teamwork, and are known to be a team of _threes_. Plus, providing two bells is an obvious tactic to lure the team to break apart on their own; yet having a jounin as the target means we were never meant to be able to get the bells on our own. So the only logical thing to do is teamwork.'

The silver-haired man critically watched with his lax eye, just how easily Naruto was giving his excuse. _Whatever the truth may be_ , Kakashi determined, _he would figure it out_. Until then, Naruto was neither his student nor a comrade. 

 

Kakashi shifted to give his eye-smile, 'Correct! Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, I want all of you to remember this:' Naruto immediately looked away as his name was mentioned, and Kakashi no longer felt dread at his _student_ ’s seeming hatred towards him - only cold apathy and his typical jounin-esque drive to analyse him and figure out his intentions. But for now, Team 7 was active and for the sake of the dead, Kakashi would ensure their safety. So, recalling Obito in his last hour, recalling Rin, his sensei and Kushina-san, remembering his father, he spoke with melancholy dark eyes loaded with a sense of duty:

 

'Those who break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum'

 

And Naruto refused to look at Kakashi even in those moments. Because if he looked again, at this time, he knew for sure he would fall in love once again with this haunted yet determined jounin. He would once again fall prey to love.

 

So Naruto simply watched the sky burn with the Will of Fire.

 

Letting the bitterness and regret of his past burn away with the dying light, Naruto smiled as he heard Sakura scream her typical 'Shannaro!' and turned back to see his new yet old team. Sasuke smirked (teme was seriously happy, it seemed), even tolerating the pinkette’s sustained screaming and bounces. As Naruto forced himself to look at Kakashi, their eyes met, both haunted eyes, both regretting, both uncertain. But when Kakashi’s eyes narrowed on him, Naruto could not help but draw a relieved smile. He would be hated by his sensei this time round, Naruto sighed with relief, and there would be less of a reason to love Kakashi.

 

If he was to save everyone this time round, Naruto could not afford to fall in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More than anything... I would like to thank the lovely readers for waiting for MONTHS for this chapter. I half-decided to quit because I was overloaded with work, but reading the beautiful comments of support made me decide not to.
> 
> But honestly I would be faster at writing chapters if my computer stopped auto-correcting Kakashi into Karachi ;_;
> 
> This chapter was supposed to show the realistic side to the ninja world (well, what I think is realistic because honestly, I don't live in Konoha). There are always sacrifices to make, even if they are important feelings like love. Likewise, you can't let your guard down too soon or even around the people in your own village because anyone could be enemies, spies, dangerous to your village.
> 
> I'm so sorry I suck at fight scenes *cries*.
> 
> Hopefully, I'll be back early next year!
> 
> Everyone, please hang on tight because although I may be (very) slow, I am not letting go of this story :)


	5. For me, for you, for us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Responsibilities require sacrifices.
> 
> We can only hope we don't sacrifice our most important things.

The breeze softly tousled the blond hair, revealing the sweat-drenched neck. A pair of grey eyes steadily observed the small figure working on the plants, the usually wide blue eyes now narrowed in the glaring sunlight. Still, Naruto worked diligently on the garden, and the surprised Kakashi noted that he has quite a green-thumb. A groan from another figure interrupted, and the jounin looked up from his ageless pornography to Sakura, now lying on her back, face dampened with sweat. Sasuke grunted in a seeming agreement as he, too, sat down and gave his tired arms a momentary rest. It was understandable, Kakashi thought as he himself shut the Icha Icha and put it back into his pocket, the patch of garden - if it could be called a _patch_ \- was the biggest in Konoha, and usually had two genin teams working on it. 

‘Alright, ten minutes rest, my little genins. Go ask Edachi-san for a drink and have a quick rest. At this pace, you won’t be done by sunset.’

Sasuke and Sakura both groaned as they trudged through the tattered door, into the decrepit house, their eyes bleary from sweat and exhaustion that they did not see Naruto still working on the garden. 

 

As Kakashi approached, he observed a slight twitch on Naruto’s shoulders and stopped. The breeze again swept across the golden hair, bringing out a small satisfied sigh at the momentary cool air beneath the scorching sun. Kakashi took another step, almost in reaching distance of his student (was he his student?), and another, and stopped. Through Naruto’s black mesh-shirt, he could see Naruto’s back muscles tense and suddenly ease. The jounin took a lazy glance at the sweating blond, still focused on pulling out the weeds, pretending to be incredulous of Kakashi standing behind him. Choosing to seize the chance and gamble on it, the scarecrow reached out his arm and patted Naruto’s head, prepared to observe and note down every action his _student_ was to make. But Naruto simply stayed still, his hands no longer working on the garden. Curious, Kakashi crouched down to look at Naruto, and his single grey eye widened at the kid blushing completely red. _It’s not because of me_ , Kakashi scolded himself, _it’s because of the sun - it’s hot out, it’s tiring, that’s why he’s red - not because of me; get a hold of yourself_.

At the same time, Naruto himself was internally kicking himself for the very apparent display of emotions. The jounin had taken him by a surprise, and he had not expected the man to _pat_ him after the perturbed expression Kakashi had shown him. Naruto kept himself still and continued to rage in agitation. _Did he find out? What I just screwed up my last chance at saving everyone? What if -_

 

**_Kit_ **

_Not now, fur-ball._

**_Kit. Breathe._ **

_I am breathing, damnit. I always thought that I’m good enough at masking emotions, but_ _this man_ _…_

**_I know, kit. Just stop jumping to conclusions. That Uchiha was right, you know - thinking is not your area of expertise._ **

_What the hell am I supposed to do, then?_

**_Just smile and wave, kit, smile and wave._ **

 

‘Naruto?’

Rubbing his temples at a sudden headache at being jolted from his mindscape so abruptly, he turned his bleary eyes to the concerned grey eye that was examining him. He blinked a couple of times, attempting to get rid of the after-images flashing in the back of his head.

‘Yes?’ He managed to whisper, albeit brusquely, feeling his dry throat scratch at the word.

As Kakashi slid down his hand to the blond’s forehead, Naruto instantaneously prayed for his body temperature to not rise any higher and shut his eyes. He felt the cool hand linger for a moment and leave.

‘You should go inside, Naruto. You’re going to have a stroke if you keep going.’

As though gingerly putting on his favourite mask, Naruto placed a small smile on his lips, which eventually widened to it’s normal size.

‘Nah, Kakashi-san, I’ll be fine. By the time the other two gets back, I’ll be done with the whole garden, dattebayo!’

As Naruto was about to chastise himself for letting his tick-word slip out, he caught a small chuckle coming from the masked man and smiled truly for the first time since he time-slipped. He wondered if the man knew just how endearing it was.

‘Well, tell me anytime you need a break, alright, Naru-chan?’

The cerulean eyes widened at the endearment, which only brought an eye-smile and a louder chuckle from the jounin’s part.

‘Kakashi-san. That was not appropriate at all.’

Naruto attempted to glare, but decided it was too hot and returned to the garden. The jounin barked out a a short laughter in amusement and returned to the shade to his favourite literature. Regardless of who Naruto was, he was his student and his teacher and Kushina-san’s son, Kakashi decided as he hummed and glanced over at the words describing the female character’s developing curiosity about the main male character. _And perhaps,_ something in the back of his mind whispered, _someone even more special_.

 

* * *

 

'Jiji-san! Give us more appropriate missions!'

 

The Naruto who mock-glared at Sandaime-sama with crossed arms was familiar yet… unnatural. Kakashi wondered which version was supposed to be the actual Naruto; or if the blond-haired boy was actually bipolar. Sasuke gave an inaudible snort at his rival’s childishness. _Though,_ Sasuke found himself contemplating, _Dobe is pretty cute when his cheeks puff out like that_. The pinkette debated whether to hit this Naruto on his head, having observed how quickly he became someone so mature and so _sad_. Much to Naruto’s gratefulness, Sakura decided against it and kept still next to her Sasuke-kun.

‘Naruto! You’ve learnt this at the academy!-’

And Team 7 was at once fiddling, whispering, nudging each other and eventually just full-on talking about what kind of C ranks they could be getting, while both Iruka and the Sandaime babbled on about how missions are ranked. Kakashi rested his watchful eye on his now-suddenly-lively genin and gave occasional remarks on how: no, they will not be facing S-rank ninjas, much less B-rank ones; no, they will not be transporting a princess back to her country, since that was usually B or A rank; no, no-one will get injured or die.

 

‘Team 7!’

 

The whole team jolted at the croaky voice’s roar and turned to the Sandaime who kept his face composed despite the utter disrespect of the newly formed team. He cleared his throat three times, sighed once, and Naruto knew his favourite Jiji was about to give in.

‘Here’s a C-ranked mission to the Waves and back. You will have to escort the bridge-builder Tazuna-san back home.’

Naruto force-sparkled his eyes to look wonder-struck and cried out ‘Thank you Jiji! You’re the best!’, while the gears ticked away in his head. It was his responsibility once more. He will not look at a fellow friend dying again. He will not look at a wrongfully ostracised ninja run to his death again. This time, he will not simply look.

While the Hokage and Iruka believed the determination in Naruto’s eyes to be his resolve to prove himself to the villagers, Kakashi thought differently. Those were the eyes the jounin was familiar with. He had seen it in Minato-sensei, facing off with the nine-tails. He had seen it in Obito, when he taught Kakashi about the meaning of being human. He had seen it in Rin, when she slipped onto his arms to her death. Those were the eyes that haunted him day and night, and now, for some reason, Naruto had the same expression. The apparently newly-graduated genin with the determination to throw his life away for his goal -

 

Kakashi felt sick.

 

* * *

 

The silver-haired jounin trudged on with his backpack to the front gates, his eye reddened slightly from the lack of sleep. He groaned a little as he recalled the nightmare where the ghosts of his past returned, the ones he failed, criticising, mocking, glaring at him. 

 

‘As if a pipsqueak like you can do anything!’

The clearly drunken words slobbering out of the bridge builder’s mouth brought him to reality, and saw Naruto slump a little at his words. Kakashi suddenly felt confused by the swirl of protectiveness towards Naruto, catching himself just before he could attempt to enact physical harm on the client. Naruto was a predator and a prey at the same time - he was suspiciously strong yet pitiably weak. And the jounin could not bring himself trust the boy and his ambiguous actions.

‘What did you say?’

_Sasuke. Why is he butting in?_ Kakashi wondered, watching Naruto’s eyes simultaneously widening in surprise. The controlled bloodthirst made Tazuna stagger backwards, barely stuttering an apology. Sasuke huffed and looked away from Naruto’s prying eyes, his face flushing a little in embarrassment. The blond felt a grin creeping up his face and glomped Sasuke into a back-hug, making the usually astute Uchiha stumble forward and flash a half-hearted annoyed glare at his assailant. The jounin watched this strange interaction with his lone eye, the facade of laziness unwavering despite the growing uncertainty of his own feelings.

 

* * *

 

Sasuke groaned as the pinkette batted her lashes at him for the sixtieth time. Ignoring Sakura’s non-stop proclamations of her love and devotion, he focused on the road ahead, but mostly on Naruto, who had been silent the whole time. Just a few days ago, Sasuke would have simply considered Naruto has a loud-mouthed idiot, but now Sasuke was no longer certain. Now Naruto was a rival and a tentative friend. Certainly, he was curious about Naruto’s sudden growth, but he was glad for it.

 

As the group passed by a puddle of water, both Naruto and Kakashi tensed up as their adrenaline flooded their systems.

 

Then in the blink of an eye Kakashi was apparently dead, and both Sakura and Sasuke froze next to Tazuna, who was failing to grasp the situation. Naruto rushed forward to block an attack from one of the demon brothers directed at their client. 

‘Sasuke! Take down the other one. Sakura, protect Tazuna-san!’

By habit, Naruto barked out the orders as the rest of his team sprung out of their trance to do as instructed. Facing off one of the Demon Brothers, Naruto countered the sickle coming at him with a simple throw of the kunai and engaged him in a taijutsu battle. As expected, his current height and small stature did no justice to his taijutsu style and put him in a disadvantage. The opponent took advantage of the situation and once again attacked Naruto with the poisoned sickle, which scraped Naruto’s arm. Hyper-aware of the poison in his system and knowing that it would tire Kurama to hold it off for too long, Naruto finished off the missing-nin with a quick shunshin and a clean slash to the throat. He caught his breath as he bathed in the spluttering blood of the now dead ninja, and checked on Sasuke who successfully incapacitated the other using the Uchiha trademark fireball jutsu. Kakashi returned to the scene to two very relieved genins and one certain Uzumaki who was currently cleaning his bloodstained Kunai. Looking at the poisoned wound, Kakashi disguised his worry with apathy.

‘Maa seems like we have to go back to Konoha.’

The other two genins looked at him questioningly, to which the jounin pointed at Naruto’s wound. Naruto ignored the gesture and carried on cleaning his kunai.

‘It seems the sickle was poiso—’

 

_Rip._

 

The team and Tazuna looked towards the source of the sound, and found Naruto looking emotionlessly at the tear he made on his arm that perpendicularly crossed the poisoned wound. The kunai now dripped with the blond’s fresh blood. After a moment of absolute silence, Kakashi cleared his throat.

'Naruto, it was really cool how you removed the poison and all, but if you lose any more blood, you're going to die. Good idea to stop the bleeding now…seriously.'

Naruto looked at Kakashi as the same words from the previous timeline was reiterated. This time, though, Naruto caught the frightened emotions flickering under Kakashi’s mask. This time, his words were not scorning, mocking or sarcastic - and this confused Naruto as he showed his fast-healing arm to the slightly relieved and awed Kakashi.

Kakashi internally sighed as he looked at the bloodied genin, a freshly graduated ninja, who had just made his first kill and emotionlessly inflicted a deep wound on himself for the sake of efficiency. Naruto’s cold-bloodedness devastated him. Perhaps it had positive implications on Naruto’s ninja career but he knew from experience that it was not the most coveted life. And it certainly wasn’t the life his sensei and Kushina-san would have wanted for their child.

 

* * *

 

Naruto volunteered for the first watch as the rest of the team retreated to their tents, with the exception of Kakashi. The one eye gazed at Naruto softly, and the blond squirmed a little under the strange emotion behind it. They both sat in silence for a while. The jounin shifted a little closer to Naruto’s side, who in turn shifted a little further away and looked away. The silence continued a little longer.

‘Naruto, if you need a person to talk to-’

‘Kakashi-san, I appreciate the offer but I would have to decline.’

Kakashi looked at Naruto with uncertainty. 

‘First kills usually bring about emotional trauma. As your sensei and superior, I simply have to make sure that you are fine.’

‘I’m perfectly emotionally stable. Thank you.’

‘Naruto. Look at me.’

‘No.’

‘Naruto, please.’

Unwillingly moved by the pleading voice, the cerulean eyes looked back at the jounin, who looked at him searchingly - trying to glimpse even a hint of the expected emotional reaction to first kills. As expected, he found none.

‘I just want you to know that if you ever do need me, I’ll be here,’ Kakashi briskly said, as he retreated back to his tent, feeling absolutely useless to his student. _How can I call myself a teacher when my student doesn’t even need me?_

Barred by his self-deprecating thoughts, he failed to notice Naruto’s eyes glistening with pain and regret. He couldn’t let himself be swept away by Kakashi’s presence, and he would thusly continue this strangely detached relationship between them. For himself. For Kakashi. For Konoha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah I am so sorry my amazing readers! Been failing my university studies recently so I had to get back on track academically, hence my elongated hiatus.
> 
> I'm on break now, so I'm hoping that I can write a little more. It's pretty difficult to keep the characters in character since it's been so long. It'll be very helpful if you could point out any inconsistencies and flaws for me.
> 
> Ah I miss the times when fanfics just seemed to write themselves - how did I even manage to write 2k words in 2 hours? It will forever be a mystery to me.


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